Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Moonshine Patriot on teh Debate

I am hopelessly addicted to the Moonshine Patriot, a blogger with a style like none other on the internets. Moonshine works his magic on the Sunday talk shows and candidate debates. He produces his idiosyncratic transcripts which brilliantly capture the message and the meta-message of every exchange. Moonshine's prose is informed by the current teen and Blackberry-possessor obsession of texting. "Texters" have their own shorthand which Moonshine adopts, but not so it obfuscates, but, rather, illuminates the high school qualities of our political discourse. Moonshine's accounts are so complete that one no longer has to watch the actual exchanges, as Moonshine captures and bottles "teh" essence as he did for tonight's Democratic Debate in Chicago, sponsored by the AFL-CIO and moderated by MSNBC's Keith Olbermann:

Obama: Everyone knows where Al Qaeda is, but how far are we prepared to go - they pull a knife, we pull a gun, they send one our troops the hospital, we send of theirs to the morgue thats teh Chicago Way!!!

[ applause ]

Biden: in Hillary's little city mole people live in aluminum tubes its crazeee!!!! I will debate Rudy and i swear i will yell so loud he'll wish he brought bernie kerik to whisper in his ear thou art immortal!!!

Olbermann: okaaayyyy

Edwards: everyone knows i'm down with organzied labor i'm like Gephardt only with eyebrows and integrity

Keith: interesting

Edwards: look at what happened Saturday at YearlyKos Hillary loves Lobbyists and i say no to that!

Keith: taxpayer funded Steroid Palaces?

Kucinich: i was mayor of KeelberTown and i bought the Elves baseball team they won the chocolate pennant

Olbermann: awesome

Kucinich: sure we should invest it will bring jobs

Obama: that's why i spent your taxes on a football stadium go Bears!

Richardson: AFL-CIO in da house!! Give me money!!

Audience: wooo hooo!!

Bill: Electric grid! Commuter rail! Flying cars!

Olbermann: NAFTA yes or no?

Hillary: this will shock you but i have 12 point plan that addresses this issue too

Olbermann: of course you do

Hillary: i want a Trade Cop, maybe -
[removes sunglasses]

David Caruso

Olbermann: excellent
You can read the rest here.